Dependence
by Psycheroman
Summary: Post-Female Trouble ... was Logan really OK after dealing with Mrs. Moreno?
1. Chapter 1

Hey, everyone, what's up? After months of reading lots of fan fic, I thought I'd give it a try ... this is a post Female Trouble fic (I really like that episode). Any comments (or if you want to tell me to stop posting) can be left in the blue box below.   
  
As for the disclaimer ... the people in this story are not mine, nor is the show mine.  
And, without further ado, here it is ...  
  
On the streets  
  
All was quiet on the streets of Seattle. All except the revving up of a 600cc motorcycle. The motorcycle zoomed up and down the streets, racing as fast as the driver's mind. She was fighting hard to stop thinking about "him". Everything from the fastest way to disassemble and reassemble her baby --- the Ninja she was riding --- to recalling all of the hand signals she and her sibs used as children. But her mind kept on drifting back to what happened earlier ...  
  
Flashback  
  
She ran into his apartment screaming his name out. Going around the corner into his computer room, she saw the gun laying on his desk. But there was no body ... all of a sudden, she heard the door open, and the familiar sound of his wheels. Without thinking, she ran to his side and clung to him.   
  
"I thought ... I was so scared ... The ambulance"  
"It's okay," he whispered, embracing her as strongly as she embraced him.  
  
After drawing apart, he wheeled to his desk, saying:  
  
"Little accident upstairs. Mrs. Moreno fell down. Bathroom sink overflowed".  
"She okay?" she asked, hinting at how he was actually doing.  
"Yeah, she'll be fine," he replied.  
  
He legitimately seemed OK this time, so she went to see Jace off. As she handed Jace the money, bus tickets, and passport Logan got, she glanced at the date on them. "Its our anniversary ..." She rode off, stopping to get a bottle of cheap champagne. After a quick stop home to change, she went to the Space Needle, to think about her family.  
  
As Max descended from her perch a top the Needle, she felt a surge of restless energy. "Nothing my baby can't fix". She drove along, seemingly turning left and right at random. Her mind, however remained focused on one thing. That gun. And how close he came to using it. Although, she didn't know that for sure.   
  
"Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to double check on him ... and maybe even to get rid of that gun. I really don't like guns" She looked up to see his building looming ahead of her. "And, since I'm here ..."  
  
She parked her bike, and walked around to the side of the neighboring building. Scaling it, she got to the roof and looked into his apartment. "That's strange ... everything is dark. Even his computer is off. Maybe I should go over, just to see ..."   
  
All of a sudden, she found herself on his roof, throwing her rope down through the skylight. Once inside, she crept around, listening for him. "I'll just make sure he's OK and then leave... he's probably just sleeping ..."  
  
Stealthily, she made her way to his bedroom. Thankfully, the door was slightly ajar. She stepped in, hoping and expecting to see him asleep. After she realized he wasn't there, her ears picked up the sound of running water. "Oh, good, he's just in the bathroom". She turned to leave, but stopped at the doorway. She couldn't calm her worries. As embarrassing as the situation would be, she needed to know that he was alright.  



	2. Chapter 2

Walking back to the bathroom door, she steeled herself. "Here goes ... sorry Logan. 1, 2" On three, she kicked the door open. Logan sat in his wheelchair, fully clothed, right hand holding his razor and left wrist poised under the water running from the faucet in the sink. Blood dripped from the many cuts on his wrist, to join the water going down the drain.  
  
"Max, what ---"  
"Logan, put down the razor". Before either of them could blink, she grabbed the razor and shoved him away from the sink. Her sarcasm temporarily beat out her worry, as she told him,   
  
"I just came to check up on you ... funny, I didn't expect to deal with this".  
"Max, I just was ..."  
"No, Logan. No more excuses. We're going to talk about this right now". She went over to him and picked him up. Throwing him over her shoulder (yet another time her genetic enhancements were a positive attribute), she carried him to the couch, depositing him there.  
  
"Don't even think about moving anywhere".  
"I can't, remember ..."  
  
Max went back to the bathroom, where she found some gauze and a towel. Returning to the living room, she refused to look at his face. Instead, she knelt in front of him, wiping the blood from his wrist and then bandaging it . She had almost forgotten why she was there, or rather, who she was there for, until she heard Logan's "Ouch". She didn't realize how tightly she was tying the gauze. "Sorry about that," she muttered.   
  
She finished the job, and put all of the supplies away. Going back to the living room once more, she went to her spot by the window. They remained in their positions, him sitting on the couch, her standing staring out at Seattle.   
  
After a while, Max sighed. Aloud, she said: "So many people down there, all with their own problems and their own little worlds. And here I am with my little world. But its not so little anymore. You're in it now." She turned to him. "You're in my world now. So what gives you the right to try to take yourself out of it? How could you do this to me? To Bling? To all the people out there who need you?"   
  
She started pacing around the room, getting angrier and angrier. "Logan, what were you thinking? Why? Do you think you're completely worthless?"  
  
"Max ---" Logan tried to speak.  
  
"Not now, Logan. I'm really pissed off, and if you were anyone else right now, I'd be kicking your ass."  
  
"Max ---"   
  
"Logan, there is very little you could say right now ..."  
  
"Max, if you would just shut the hell up, maybe you would understand," he screamed at her. "Just shut up and listen to me".   
  
"What could you possibly say ---"  
  
"IT HURTS. I DON'T WAN'T TO DEAL WITH THIS WORLD ANYMORE." Logan's shouts pierced the room, bringing Max to a complete stop. As she looked at him, she realized exactly how despondent he was. His eyes were lifeless, and the way he sat made him look as though he had completely given up everything. As he continued to talk, she strained to hear his whispered confession.  
  
"You don't know what this is like for me. I've always relied on myself. I've needed to take care of myself for so long. I can't ... I just can't".   
  
TBC...   
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Only the story is mine ... everything else belongs to people with a lot more money.  
  
Logan felt as though his world were collapsing around him. The room turned dark around him. Every breath felt like a clamp had tightened around his chest. He stared straight ahead, not seeing his apartment, or his dark angel approaching him.  
  
Max could tell that Logan was on the verge of a breakdown. She knelt by him, holding his hand. He was so far into his thoughts that he didn't notice her. All he could do was sit there, hoping that the darkness and pain would go away. All she could do was sit there, lending him strength.   
  
Soon, she realized how alone he probably felt. She squeezed his hand, with no response from him. She said his name, "Logan. Logan, answer me." Waving her free hand in front of his face did nothing. "Logan, please, look at me. Talk to me. Say something". She started to panic. She couldn't believe what was happening to him. He was the strongest man in her life, and she, of all people, was unable to help him. Tears fell onto her cheeks for the second time that day. Almost unconsciously, she sat next to him, pulling him into her arms.   
  
Logan suddenly felt a warmth around him. Something was trying to lift him from the pit into which he was falling. Breathing no longer was difficult, although he was still gasping for breath. He blinked, and felt his cheeks suddenly become wet. His gasps became stronger, as they deepened into sobs. All of the pain, the darkness, the grief was poured out as she held him.   
  
They sat for what seemed hours, her comforting him as he cried. Slowly he quieted down. As his breathing evened out, she realized that he had fallen asleep. "He must be exhausted after all of that ... I know I am". For the second time that night, she carried him, this time in her arms. Entering his bedroom, she gently laid him on the bed. Noticing that he still had his glasses on, she took them and placed them by his bed.   
  
"He looks so ... peaceful." She couldn't help but stare at him, and wonder at how close she came to losing him. She was torn between staying there and holding him through the night, and just leaving him, going back to the quietness of the needle, and the mindlessness of her speeding down the streets. Looking down at him again, she noticed that he shifted in bed, throwing his left arm across the side of the bed. Almost as an invitation to her. "It would be more comfortable being here ... and I can be sure that he doesn't do anything stupid ...again". Quickly she went to the guestroom to change into more comfortable clothing. She returned to his bedroom, and lay down, carefully avoiding his bandaged wrist. As soon as she lay down, he drew her closer to him, clinging to her with all of his strength. She adjusted herself so as to be facing him, and whispered:  
  
"Logan, just sleep". He sighed in his sleep. Soothed by his breathing and his presence, Max too soon fell asleep.  
  
TBC ...   
  



End file.
